Shijun no Zankoku
by Makemegray
Summary: The question: One of cruelty. How many times can you really forgive a person when they've betrayed you completly and utterly? Jadeite's chances have run out unless he can convince Rei otherwise.
1. Prologue

Shijun no Zankoku: Prologue

**Disclaimer**: _I do not own Bishoujou Senshi Sailor Moon or the song Shijun no Zankoku, the opening theme from Venus Versus Virus._

Coming face to face with him on that day, Rei had dismissed the fleeting moment of intense attraction and had used her newly found powers to make a pyre out of him.

She hadn't given it much thought until Minako had confided that she'd had a similar reaction upon meeting Kunzite, which ultimaly and perhaps inevitably led Ami and Makoto to admitting the same in terms of Zoisite and Nephrite.

Never one to beleive that anything could be left up to coincidence, Rei had preceded to get to the bottom of the situation by forcing a certain heretofore secret fact about the past lives of the Guardian Senshi out of the Luna and Artemis, the only people who would have been around to remember it.

Namely that they had followed the track laid by their ruler and had engaged in highly forbidden relationships with their earthly counterparts, the guardians of Earth's ruler.

Rei took this information in stride and didn't demand any further explanation. There was no cause for it after all.

Aside from the fact that the lock on that part of her memories had been broken and had resulted in her having a few more steamy dreams than normal, but for the most part she was largely unbothered by it.

She still despised men and she still planned on sticking to her vow of chastity. Which, now that she thought about it, given the fact that the subject of her one and only affair in a previous life had switched sides and killed her, supported the logic of why that vow had been so easy to make.

And even had she wanted to do something about it, the Shittenou were rocks in Mamoru's pocket and therefore the point was moot.

There was nothing that could be done to refute these facts and as such it was useless trying to do anything about it or mourning the relationship as the other girls seemed to be doing.

Rei simply didn't care that she'd supposedly once been in love with Jadeite anymore that she cared that Yuuichiro had gotten married and left the shrine.

Which was to say, not at all.

When there was an increase in spiritual energy somewhere in the middle of Shinjuku-ku while she was shopping, she did little more than glance in the direction of the park in which it had occurred, despite the fact that she recognized the aura of the increase and wondered vaguely how how he'd regained a human form before continuing her shopping.

It really wasn't her concern after all.

As long as he kept his nose clear and stuck to giving Mamoru bad advice, she really didn't give a damn and wouldn't be forced to kill him.

Again.

The increase in spiritual pressure, as Rei had referred to it, was currently stretching it's muscles and trying to remember just what the hell it felt like to be in corporeal form again.

Being stuck as a rock in a linty and more than slightly musty pocket was not it's ideal means of spending an eternity.

He looked around the area where he had suddenly appeared and scratched his head in puzzlement, shortly after finding out that he did, indeed have a head, a hand to scratch it with and the ability to be puzzled.

It was a strange sensation, suddenly seeing again and in some vague sense he thought that the area he was currently in might be familiar, stepping out of the crater that he seemed to be in he wandered around what seemed to be a park smack in the middle of Tokyo, it took him a few minutes to notice that people were gasping in appellation and covering their children's eyes and it took him a few minutes more to realize why.

Looking down at his newly flesh body he also realized where the breeze he'd felt earlier had been coming.

Remembering that he had the power to do so, he materialized clothing similar to that of a teenage boy running across his path, slightly faded blue jeans, over sized, hooded sweatshirt and cross-trainer sneakers, and ignored the screams of shock as people saw this.

He smirked slowly to himself and put his hands in his pockets, wandering aimless out of the park and through the streets of the metropolis, he really had no clue why he'd been brought back to this current structure of life, but feeling the wind against his face and running through his blond hair, he was entirely grateful to whoever had been responsible.

He recalled his name suddenly as someone behind him called it out and he turned around, about two feet away from the Hachi statue in Shinjuku-ku.

"I'm to see you returned all right." Said the man in front of him, who laid a heavy hand on his shoulder in camaraderie. He knew that this other man was a good friend of his from times past but for some reason he couldn't seem to recall exactly who he was. "As you were the first one of us to be returned to your mineral state, you were the most difficult to resurrect. It's the dawning of a new era my friend, welcome to it!"

Jadeite tilted his head to the side and smiled as the names came to him.

"It's good to be back, Kunzite. Where do we begin?"

* * *

**Author's Notes**: While I generally don't do or even like het couples, I had to give this one a shot. I play Rei in an RPG and I recently took up the mantle of the Shittenou as well and the latter part was my first post with any of them. I like it so much that I decided to do an entire fic. 

I actually do like this pairing for some reason, but I decided to take a logical approach to it. It'll be a long one, for reasons explained in the next chapter but I will eventually finish it.

Shijun no Zankoku means A Question of Cruelty.

Please Read and Review!


	2. Ijirashii

Shijun no Zankoku: Chapter One; Ijirashii

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Bishoujou Senshi Sailor Moon or the song Shijun no Zankoku, the ending theme from Venus Versus Virus._

When he showed up on her doorstep wearing a light grey Armani suit with a black tie,back loafers and dark sunglasses that covered eyes that Rei knew were of a grey-blue color that resembled the sky in a hurricane, with a smug smile that radiated in his very being, the only thing that was stopping Rei from slamming the door in his face was his hand on the top of it.

"What in the hells are you doing woman?! You can't just ignore me and close the door!" Rei gave the young king her best withering glare and formed a fireball in her open palm. "You can't be serious! I just wanted to talk to you!"

"I'd rather not be threatened with my life-energy being drained or be sexually abused, thank you very much."

He had the decency to go pale, remembering the things he had done while in Beryl's service.

"Rei, I'm really very sorry for that, but can you really hold me accountable for the things that Beryl and Metaria forced me to do? No ones held it against Endymion-sama!"

"True, but seeing as you've been a rock for the past ten years, you, unlike him, have yet to redeem yourself-which I doubt you'll be able to-I have to reason to entertain your lustful nostalgia, now let go of my door."

He let it go, and stood there, shocked as she shut it firmly

She had fully intended to go back to her chores, but the five minutes of incessant yelling, knocking and swearing derailed her plans.

Opening the door again, fireball in hand, she glared at the man who stood there.

"You have 15 seconds to explain to me why I shouldn't repeat our first encounter and invite the neighborhood to Shittenou barbecue."

"Because I've been in love with you for over a thousand years! I want to make up for the mistakes I made in a moment of weakness that cost me your trust, respect and love!"

The senshi of passion raised a delicately arched eyebrow and the fireball in her hand turned an icy blue color. The only outward sign of how upset about the encounter she was truly getting.

"You killed me." She stated, simply and calmly.

"Er-yes, but I was-"

"And then you sexually assaulted me."

"I wouldn't say that I-"

"And then you tried to kill me again."

"I told you I was-"

"Why in Ares name,given all that, would I ever again trust or respect someone who had done those things to me? Let alone love them?!" She spat, eyes narrowing dangerously.

Jadeite began to sweat a little as the fire started to burn even larger, but refused to back down nonetheless.

"We've all made terrible mistakes in our lives, Rei, you tried to kill Selena-sama at several different times when you were possessed, what the difference between you and I?"

"The difference?!" Rei exclaimed, eyes widening in d.isbelife."The difference is that I had no free will at any of those points in time and I always fought against it! You accepted Meteria's power with open arms, knowing what she had planned, because you couldn't handle your girlfriend being more powerful than you. You sought me out at Mare Serenatis and you shoved a sword through my back! You had a choice to do it, even if you didn't have a conscious to tell you not to! The fact that you would dare come here, expecting forgiveness, is just proof that you lot were never brainwashed to begin with. Inhibitions stripped, yes, but all Meteria did was reveal you for what you truly are: Lousy, Manipulative, Deceitful and Weak! Don't think for a second that I will ever trust you again or let myself be blinded by your charming facade who claims to love me. Not now that I've seen you're true face." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting the fireball dissipate. "Don't come here again or anywhere near me unless in a professional fashion. Now that you all are back I realize that we'll be working together for the safety of the royal family but if you ever so much as mention our past relationship I will burn you, do you understand?" She asked, opening her eyes with a stern glare to reinforce the point.

Jadeite, to Rei's immense pleasure, looked like someone had kicked his puppy and killed his grandmother at the same time.

"...Rei..." He managed to croak out and said priestess, taking this for acquiescence turned her back on him and closed the door firmly in face, like she had intended to do all along.

* * *

"You have to admit, she does make a good point."

"Mamoru-sama," Jadeite began with a twitching eyebrow as he nursed a glass of Sake in the kitchen of his monarch's apartment, "You really aren't helping"

"Think about it, the other girls have less to forgive us for." Zoisite crooned, leaning on his depressed teammates shoulder. "You're the only one of us who actively sought out your woman. And killed her. Then tried it again! Sure we got helping in the attempt to destroy the universe, hurting a few innocents and trying to kill Usagi-sama, but you were the only one boneheaded enough to mistake your feelings of love for those of hate and hurt yours personally. Not even Nephrite was that dumb." There was an offended growl from somewhere in the television region that Zoisite ignored. "Maybe it'll help knowing that not even Kunzite's all the way in yet. Mina-chan is really hung up about that last battle. At least he stopped before there was any physical harm done." He ignored the groan and dull thunk of head hitting kitchen island counter. "Ami-chan just wants to think about it and Mako-chan just has to piece together the fact that this super-neat ex-boyfriend she compares every guy to is actually Neph-kun and we're home free. It's taken a little work but we got through it...None of our girls actually tried to kill us though..." He dodged a drunken punch and wandered off to ponder life's mysteries near the t.v.

Or, probably more accurately, went to tease the two kings watching it to the point where they would rather be stones again so they wouldn't have to hear him speak anymore.

"Mamoru-sama..." Said future ruler looked up from the medical reports he was currently finishing, 'Tsk'ing in frustration over the few he couldn't seem to figure out and would have to fax over to Ami later for help. "Do you think I have any chance in hell of ever getting her back?"

Mamoru frowned slightly and set his pen down, steepling his fingers as he contemplated the question and how to put answer lightly.

"Rei is a very...Assertive woman." He distinctly ignored the part of his brain that longed to use an adjective beginning with B and ending in Y. "The things that she blames you for will never be something she can forgive you. Look past them and see you as a friend, maybe. But I doubt she'll ever open herself up to you as a lover again. She's a highly loyal person and expects the same from everyone in her life, she sees what you did as the ultimate betrayal and it's probably forever damaged your relationship with her. Though I hope I'm wrong on both fronts."

"You're probably not." Jadeite muttered into his sake, draining the glass and immediately pouring another. "But maybe I should just try to follow Odango-sama's outlook in life and try to find something positive in every situation. At least I may be able to be her friend, right?"

"That's so pathetic, but good for you!" Zoisite called from the choke hold Nephrite currently had him in.

"Yeah...Pathetic..." Jadeite conceded, and went back to his sake.

* * *

Author's notes: I don't believe that anyone was too out of character in the story. I may have exaggerated a little about the sexual abuse but it felt like it needed saying to impact his crimes. I like Zoisite as the prankster of the Shittenou and I'm going to keep him that way, even if he may be the only one who was slightly OOC. I always imagined him as being very similar to Xellos from Slayers who's one of my favorite characters in the fandom. 

Like I said, the above reasons are why this story is going to take a long time if I decide to have her give in. He did her very wrong and he's going to pay for it in angst, sorry for any Jadeite lovers. Also, the part about him being the one to personally kill her is something that may or may not have happened but isn't stated in the canon at all, just a whim on my part to further the intentions of my story.

Mare Serenatis is the place where the palace of the Moon Kingdom was stated to have been located.

Ijirashii means pathetic.

Please Read and Review!


	3. Uragirimono

**Shijin no Zankoku: Chapter Two**

"...Uragirimono..."

"W-what?! Rei! Come on! Isn't that a bit harsh?!"

"...No. I think it's appropriate." Minako huffed dejectedly, sitting across from her best friend. She had invited Rei out to lunch in order to discuss certain...things that had come up lately and the minute they had sat down and the waitress was out of earshot, the accusations started.

"How does this make me a traitor?! I love him!" Rei raised a sardonic eyebrow over the rim of her water glass.

"Do you really want to know? I could have sworn that we've gone over this several times already, taicho-san." Minako frowned. She really hated it when Rei used that title. It was correct but the fact that Rei only used it to be condescending seemed to make it one of her worse insults. "Very well," Rei continued, before Minako had gotten the chance to protest. "Kunzite and his lot were once our mortal enemies. Not very long ago in case you forgot. And before that they betrayed us for power and helped destroy everything we hold dear. And you wonder why I call you a traitor when you forgive him all of that and forsake your duty to Oh-sama by deciding to marry him."

"How does my personal life interfere at all with my duties to Usagi?! You're the only one who made that stupid vow of chastity! And he was brainwashed, Rei! How can blame him or anyone else for that matter when you've been brainwashed as well before, you know how hard it is to resist that kind of thing!"

"As I said to the last person who happened to bring up that point: When I was brainwashed I had no control over my will until I broke out of it. The shittenou, however, had free will for over a thousand years, as is exampled by the numerous occasions of them defying or altering their orders. The situations are completely different and therefore shouldn't be compared."

"Are they really do different though? You've never been brainwashed by Meteria, free will is left but anything resembling morality or a rational thought process is totally destroyed." Rei looked up at the new voice as the owner came to stand next to the table. Her eyebrow ascended farther into her hairline.

"Oh? So you're saying that it was only immoral that you attempted to destroy the world? That you wouldn't have tried to kill Mina-chan at the North Pole if you'd have only given it some thought? I'm afraid I don't buy it, Chuuto-ou-sama" Kunzite grimaced at the biting tone in which Rei said his title and slid into the booth next to Minako.

He had promised Jadeite that he work on Rei for him, but the way things were going thus far, he wasn't altogether sure that his comrade wasn't better off.

"The way Meteria worked was to consistently strip away the personality you had before she got ahold of you. It's a brilliant tactic actually. By breaking down a persons higher thought processes over time, things like morality, or honor or respect, you can reroute their mind and then control them. The free will is left intact because that's all a person really needs to feel secure and justified in their actions. Without free will intact we would have fought against it. Why do you think Mamoru-sama was so difficult to return to your side? He still had free will and so there was no reason for him to. I'm sorry if you find it all hard to believe, Kasei-oh-sama, but it's the truth and the way the dark kingdom successfully dominated earth."

"No, I don't buy it. You're rationalizing and it's ridiculous and in my opinion far worse than what you did as a dark kingdom general. I attacked my Queen while I was under Galaxia's control. I fully admit that and am committed to serve penance for the unspeakable act for the rest of my life. It was my fault for being caught off guard and being in a weak mental, emotional and physical state at the time. You aren't even willing to admit that much. You're blaming the entirety of your actions on Chaos and it's manipulations without admitting for a second that maybe, the Shittenou were much more at fault than a randomized force of nature for allowing themselves to be taken over. That's why I don't buy your excuses or the claims that you've turned over a new leaf. You're exactly the same as you were brainwashed, which leads me to the ultimate conclusion that, like I told Jadeite, you seized and opportunity for more power and disregarded any obligations you had toward your former allies and lovers because if it." Her glare turned to Minako, who jumped at the steel she saw there, a look she recognized, but that in all the time she had known Rei, the miko had never turned it on another of the guardian senshi, lest of all Minako. "And that is why I call you, and anyone foolish enough to fall back under a false security with these four around, a traitor."

Minako blinked in shock as the other girl stood abruptly and stormed out of the restaurant. She turned to Kunzite as he let out a low whistle.

"Someones bitter."

"...She's not bitter...She's hurt. Very, very hurt." He shrugged and picked up the glass of water that Minako hadn't touched, dropping it seconds after.

"Only bitter women boil their friend's water."

* * *

On almost the opposite side of two, Jadeite had taken another route to try and discover the source of Rei's immense ire which was so out of proportion to that of her friends.  
Had he known that this route would have landed him a store where the owners seemed to think that pink was the only color that existed and that lace, silk and satin were the only fabrics, he wouldn't have bothered. 

As he tried to control the heavy crimson effect that was spreading across his face, he turned as his shopping companion entered the room once more, and his hands flew up to cover his nose.

"Usagi-sama, while I'm honored that you would see fit to consult me in this manner and that you would see fit to listen to my problems and offer advice, I really don't think it's appropriate for me to see that." Usagi chuckled and sat down next to Jadeite on the low couch that stood in front of the lingerie stores changing rooms.

"Don't be such a prude, Kyokutou-ou-kun. As long as you don't touch I'm sure Mamo-chan won't mind."

"It-er...It isn't a question of Mamoru-sama minding, heika, but the fact that you are, indeed my Queen and-" he began, turning completely around so that his back faced Usagi.

"Ah, so desu ka. You're worried about whether it's proper for the King's adjutant to see his sovereign's fiancee barely clothed."

"Yes, that it exact-"

"Or is it really that you're afraid what Rei-chan would do to you if she found out?"

"...Probably a little bit of both actually."

"Despite the fact that Rei-chan would rather see you rot in an early grave. Again. Than ever be with you?"

"Usagi-sa...!" Jadeite had turned around to angrily protest but remembering the womans state of dress quickly turned back. "It's not as simple as you're making out to be."

"No, it's not." Usagi admitted, standing and walking back to the dressing room. Closing the door behind herself. "Kyokutou-ou-kun, you know that Rei had made a pledge of chastity to me? That she'll forsake all others for me and be my servant for eternity. In this life and those that follow?"

"No...I hadn't known that."

"I never asked her to do such a stupid thing, mind you. I would have never thought about it. Not a single one of the other senshi have made similar vows. But then again, none of the other girls were killed by their lovers, either. " Jadeite winced, people just had to keep bringing that up didn't they? "Rei made that vow with her last dying breath. It's going to be something she'll never be able to forget. You know she's the only one of us that remembers her entire life as the crown princess of Mars? I think it's because she's a miko and has alot of spiritual power. Though, Michiru-chan is empathic and Hotaru-chan is clairvoyant, neither of them can remember much past the last few month of their lives. Not even Setsuna, how was there, in her current life can remember as much as Rei does. That being said, it means that she also remembers the time spent with you. Every minute of it. Coupled with what resulted in that, it's no wonder she's so hurt. Minako, Ami and Makoto have only gotten glimpses and they're feelings for the shittenou have started to return somewhat, but Rei? There wasn't a minute that she stopped loving you. Not even when you drove that sword through her. She doesn't want to love you of course, and therefore keeps it hidden under her anger over the incident but it's still there."

Jadeite processed the information as it was delivered and could honestly say that for the second time in his life he was speechless.

Usagi came out of the dressing room, clad in the outfit she had entered the store in-a pink t-shirt with a white bunny leaping across her chest, low-heeled ballet style shoes, and a white skirt that swirled around her ankles to join her already lightening hair. It was a source of great chagrin for the future queen that she was effectively going grey at age 25.

"She's extremely fragile, our Rei-chan. She may be the most powerful of the guardian senshi but she's also the most scarred." Usagi commented, making her way to the door and beckoning Jadeite to follow. "Her father abandoned her and her mother committed suicide. Both of Mako-chan's parents were killed but it was an accident and wasn't there choice. Mako-chan has no reason to blame herself for their deaths."

"You mean Rei blames-?"

"She's was completely ostracized during school because of her powers and her cold demeanor. Ami was ostracized because of her intelligence but because she went to school with me, Mako-chan and Mina-chan she barely even noticed. The one person she ever had feelings for turned her down, she isn't able to open up to people easily and never had a steady stream of boyfriends like Mina-chan. Because of all that, and because of residual thoughts and emotions left over from her life as Kasei-hime, she has a really tough time opening up to people. She has a subconscious reaction to other people that tell her that if she gets too close to them they'll eventually betray her. It took her years to open up to us as friends and as for everyone else? They may as well not exist to her sometimes."

"...Usagi-sama...Are you saying that all of this is because I-?"

"Shirimasen. It's possible, and even probable. According to Luna, though, she was known for being pretty much the same as Kasai-hime. Whether your actions were the cause or simply exacerbated it is anyones guess."They stopped at a crosswalk as the light across the street turned red and Usagi turned to look at the other blond for the first time since they had left the lingerie store, and Jadeite was sure that the future queen was practicing a look aimed at making people piss their pants. "What I do know is this: Rei is my most trusted friend and subordinate. If anything you do in your quest to win her back damages her in anyway, whether emotionally or physically, be sure that I will hunt you down and no amount of begging or pleading on your part or anyone else's, not even Mamo-chan's, will save you.Wakarimasu ka?"

Jadeite did a mental check southwards to make sure he hadn't ruined his pants and nodded slowly.

"H-hai...wakarimasu..." And the normal smile was back. Sunny and optimistic about nearly everything.

"Good! Now, do you think Mamo-chan would prefer Blue or Red frosting on his birthday cake? I'm quite partial to White for some reason but it seems kind of boring and we all thats the last thing he needs when he's turning 30!"

"...So ka..."

* * *

Author's note: Think some people may be a little OOC but blame them not me. I realize that Usagi is ideally a space-case who knows shit about hardly anything but I got tired of writing her that way after doing it in Gravitation and White Flag. This is an older and more mature Usagi who's actually learned some shit since being a teenager and has gained sort of a perverted sense of humor. 

Some notes about differences in the cannon: It's never stated that Rei's mother committed suicide, I was just trying to make a point. Usagi and Mamoru are actually only three years apart in the Manga which is what I usually go by for BSSM. And I realize that Usagi's hair isn't actually that platinum color as she gets older but there are some manga images where she has it so I went with that. I think that's about all.

Translation notes: Chuuto-ou-sama; Kunzite is the king of the middle-eastern region as Jadeite is the king of the far eastern and is thus Kyokutou-ou-kun or -sama depending on who he's talking to.

Also Kasei-hime is princess of mars whereas Kasei-oh is Queen. My logic is that the girls would naturally gain the thrones of there respective planets in the future given that they were the heirs when the planets thrived.


	4. Tabun

**Shijin no Zankoku: Chapter Three**

_"You, my friend, are a masochist"_

_"Eh? Nani?!" Zoicite sighed and followed his friends gaze to the crimson clad girl at the other side of the ballroom._

_"Kasei-hime? Are you kidding me? Don't you know what they say about Martian women?"_

_"...Do I want to know?"_

_"That they have quicker tempers than a wildfire and they're just as easy too tame. Which is to say, not at all." Jadeite smiled ruefully as he took in the advice, folding his arms and refusing to be deterred from his mission. "If you're going to commit treason, why don't at least go for a nice Mercurian girl or something. Martians are just so...uncouth."_

_"Says the narcissist. Mercurians are way too timid. They take after their princess in that. I can't stand girls like that...No...Kasei-hime will do just fine..." Zoicite raised an eyebrow and looked back and forth between the girl and Jadeite, noticing the way the former glared at the room as if she wished everyone in it would spontaneously combust. _

_"...You only like her because she looks like the humans from your region, right? A bit of the familiar in uncharted territory?"_

_"...Shut-up, Zoicite..."_

_"Ara, I'm right aren't I? You're blushing!"_

_"I am not blushing and so what if she does? Doesn't Suisei-hime look like yours?" Zoicite other eyebrow joined the first at the base of his hairline as he considered the girl who stood at the Kasei-hime's left, reading a book rather than enjoying one of the rare balls that both Earth and the other Central Planets actually cooperated enough to both attend. _

_"Superficially, I suppose. Except they don't generally have blue hair...The water or something does that. Neptune's princess is like that too. Weird." He slanted a sharp look at the other blond for successfully getting him off track. "But this conversation isn't about Suisei-hime and I. It's about you and your ill choices. I can tell. This is going to blow in your face, Jadeite."_

_"...Probably."_

_"...And you're not going to listen to me are you?"_

_"...Probably not."_

_"...You're already working out a plan to seduce her aren't you."_

_"...Probably."_

_"...You know she won't be easily to lure into your bed. Nor will she be easy to throw out. You won't be able to make her one of her conquests."_

_"...Probably." Zoicite frowned and folded his arms, sighing in frustration at his friends flippant reaction_

_"...She's going to be the death of you..."_

_"...Probably..."_

* * *

The creeping feeling along the back of his neck that signaled that he was being watched was so strong that Jadeite nearly feel out of the chair he was dozing in with the shock of it. 

"Ohayou!" His eye twitched slightly as he recognized the blond sitting across from him as the annoyance that he shared an apartment with.

"...Z-Zoicite..."

"Hai!" twitch

"W-What are you doing?"

"Why whatever do you mean, Jadeite-kun?"! He smiled widely, giving Jadeite an inexplicable urge to back up against a wall.

"...I take it that things went well with Ami-chan last night?" Zoicite tilted his head to the side slightly, in a curious fashion. That urge to back up came again.

"Ara?! You could say that I suppose! I just gave her a ride to the hospital she's working at. Our Suisei-oh is quite the genius!" twitch

"...Uh...huh...So...that means she spent the night?" All he got was a wider grin in response. "Omedetou I suppose."

"Arigatou! And how are things progressing with Rei-chan?!"

All the older king got in response was a dark frown. He suddenly sympathized with that need to back far away from his friend.

"They aren't. She won't take my calls. I was planning on trying to talk to her at Kunzite and Minako's engagement party and she set the sake I was drinking on fire from across the room when I even looked in her direction."

"Yare, yare. That's terrible!"

"Don't say that so excitedly!" Zoicite's expression changed abruptly and he leaned forward in his chair.

"...I told you were a masochist. She's going to kill you one of these days. Also like I warned you." Jadeite narrowed his eyes and leaned forward so that he was inches away from the other Shittenou's face.

"...Don't look in on my dreams, stalker." He leaned back and frowned. "That's always been one of your more annoying powers..." The European king grinned again and Jadeite had to resist the urge to punch him.

"Oh, but it reveals so much valuable information!" The serious look was back again, leaving Jadeite wondering how he could switch moods so swiftly and considering the possibility that his long-time friend was bi-polar. He'd heard Mamoru and Ami discuss it at one point and was beginning to more and more faith into the theory that the two doctors had on the subject. "Anyway, I've always warned you about her. I didn't expect you would fall so hard for her though. Not in the beginning. At that party..You were already in deep weren't you? Even though she had only just awakened as a senshi and had spoken to you maybe once?"

Zoicite sighed and didn't an answer that he knew wasn't going to be given. The crimson stain quickly spreading over the others face was more than enough.

"...So what are your plans form this point on?" Jadeite narrowed his eyes again at the question, apparently having expecting more scolding and/or awkward questions. "I know you won't give up. You dream about her every single moment you're asleep. You're fucked my friend, and always will be. She's ruined you forever! Your fragile innocence has been stolen by that Amazon! Your maidenhood has been-"

"Maidenhood?!"

"Your maidenhood has been shattered by that enchantress of fire! Oh my poor darling Jadeite-kun!!" Zoicite lamented, lunging to engulf the other man in a bruising hug, oblivious to the look of abject horror on his victims face. "Don't you worry your pretty golden head about it Jadeite, darling. Zoicite okaa-chan will make that devil-woman pay for what she's done to you!!"

"Z-Zoicite! _Hanase_!!"

"Hmm...Looks like someones gotten friendly since last night." The two men looked up at the entry of another person into the room, who was currently sliding sunglasses to the top of his head with a sardonic smirk.

"Ah! It's horrible, Kunzite-samaaaaaaa!" Zoicite wailed, latching onto the waist of their commander, the honorific ending in an anguished wail.

"What is?" The platinum haired man asked with a sigh of the long-suffering as he closed the apartment door behind himself, walking passed a stunned Jadeite who was still on the floor from where Zoicite's attack had left him.

"Jadeite-kun! He's soooooo sad! That evil Martian wench has forever ruined him by taking his womanly innocence and tossing it into the flames!"

"Who's womanly innocence?!" Jadeite protested loudly, going ignored.

"Don't call Kasei-oh-sama an evil wench. Not within distance of people who would tell her." Kunzite warned as he walked into the kitchen, completely at ease, despite the fact that Zoicite was still clinging to his waist like a belt. He gestured swiftly to the closed door to the left of the kitchen. "Apparently Mokusei-oh-san has relented as well."

"Ah, that would explain why we haven't seen Nephrite-kun all day...hmmm..." Zoicite said, nodding sagely as he continued clinging.

"Unzarida!" The anguished cry was followed by the sound of a head thunking to the floor several times as Jadeite's illusions of solidarity with Nephrite crashed. "This shouldn't be that difficult!! Why did I have to get the stubborn one?! Why can't Rei be easy like all other princess seem to be?! Why?!"

"Oi, again, something else not to be said in mixed company." Kunzite warned, comming back into the main room of the apartment, Zoicite free-ish, as the other king trailed after him.

"I did warn you, Jadeite-kun!" said king sang, shit-eating grin in place.

Deciding that he wasn't going to take anymore abuse from the two snickering kings on opposite sides of him, the far eastern king picked himself off the ground and dusted off his jeans in a haughty gesture.

"That's enough...Its getting ridiculous."

"What is?" Kunzite asked, his eyebrow gaining altitude at his comrades sudden serious manner. He exchanged a look with Zoicite and found an equally worried expression on the younger man's face.

The last time Jadeite had sounded this serious about anything, he'd gone off and gotten himself killed. The mutual worry between the other two was that he would do something equally stupid and get and equally stupid result.

"I'm going to get Rei to take me back, even if I have to force her to fall in love with me again." Another look was exchanged, this one accompanied with two sighs that meant that it would be useless to try and talk the other king out if it, regardless of how useless they thought his resolve was.

"Ah...Well...Good luck I suppose...You're going to need it." Kunzite warned, running an exasperated hand through his hair.

"Yeah...Probably..."

* * *

Author's Notes: Okay, a note that I feel the need to get out of the way as it will apply to all chapters of this story and all stories I write if you choose to use them: The random Japanese inserted amoungst the English is just a way of emphasizing some words more than putting it in different font styles can do. Pretty much the same way that some Japanese have the tendency to insert English words to emphasize. It's the same thing. I'll try and remember to put translations in my notes of the lesser known words or if I forget then the context clues should help. 

Next...I enjoy writing Zoicite extraordinarily flamboyant. It's just fun and I think it's at least a little in character. There was a reason that the dub made him female after all. I was trying to go with the mange trend of having some characters end all of their speech in little hearts but wouldn't accept my formatting so...It's just simple exclamation points. It annoys me but I'll live...tabun...

Somehow...I still want to have Zoicite and Kunzite as a couple even though this a senshixshittenou fic...I don't know what I'm going to do about that but...

And in case you couldn't tell, the part in italics was a dream and apparently Zoicite can read other peoples dreams. Don't ask me why, I just wanted him to be smug about something and that's what I can up with. Not cannon but then again the full extent of their powers was never really stated. I'll probably be adding to everyones.

**Translations:**

_Kasei/Suisei/Mokusei-hime/oh: _Mars/Mercury/ Jupiter-Princess/Queen

_Omedetou: _Congratulations

_Hanase: _Let go!

_Unzarida: _I've had enough!

_Yare, yare: _My,my or something like that. Zoi's going to be using this one alot...


	5. Interlude::Shijun No Zankoku

**Shijun no Zankoku: Interlude**

Ai no mi ni miserare...

Shimetsu no yami ga nozomi to sureba kono te wa sore ni shitagai  
Shijima no yami o nozomu to shite mo watashi wa sore o sashidasu deshou to  
Shijun no omoi wa yasashikute zankoku na kugutsu ni ochite

Itsuwari no you na gensou ni tokekomu tsumi de mo itoshikute  
Mazariau hodo ni mitasarete mo kiesou ni naru

Ai no mi de tsunaide...

Subete no kako ni ketsubetsu no hi o hanatsu mo sore ni shitagai  
Soushitsu no me ni nagaredasu mono kegareta mune ni hakanaku nijinde  
Shijun no omoi wa yasashiku mo zankoku ni mi o kogashiteku

_Even though I know that it's a sweet trap, without resisting the curiosity of temptation  
The curse binds me tight enough to be able to yearn for it_

_Enchanted by the fruit of love…_

_If the darkness of annihilation is to be my desire, then my hands will obey it  
Even if I'm to desire the darkness of silence, will I present it?  
And my purest thoughts degrade into a tender yet cruel puppet_

_Even though it's a sin that melts into a pretense-like illusion, it's beloved  
Even if it's filled to the point of mingling together, it'll seem to disappear_

_Connected by bodies of love…_

_Setting fires of parting to all of my pasts is also obeying it  
That which flows from my lost eyes faintly stains my soiled chest  
And my purest thoughts tenderly and cruelly scorch my body_

_If the darkness of annihilation is to be my desire, then my hands will obey it  
Even if I'm to desire the darkness of silence, will I present it?  
And my purest thoughts degrade into a tender yet cruel puppet_

_-**Shijun no Zankoku; **_Yousei Teikoku


	6. Satsu

**_Shijun no Zankoku:Chapter 5_: **Satsu

She'd tried to kill herself once.

It hadn't worked obviously, but not for lack of trying.

She simply had the bad luck that her attempt had happened to fall on the same day as he acceptance letter from Keio University had come and her grandfather had rushed into her room to tell her.

In hindsight, she supposed she could have chosen a far less theatric method of ending her life, since it was the fact that he'd seen her, laying in a pool of her own blood that flowed freely from her ulnar arteries, that had given her grandfather a near fatal heart attack.

It was also the method that had stained the floorboards of her bedroom crimson--not that rusty brown color that dried blood normally has...scratch that...that dried _human_ blood normally has. It remained brightly crimson and gory and still made Rei a little nauseas every time she thought about it. The feeling of her Martian life-blood exiting her body like it was fleeing a predator.

The floorboards were still stained and she couldn't bring herself to get them replaced out of some morbid notion that the reminder of when she'd been at such a bottom in her life as to actually think of taking the cowardly way out and abandoning her mission, abandoning her friends, abandoning her _Queen, _would encourage her to never do it again and to stick by her vows as long she had the power to remain living under her own volition.

Though somehow, staring at the floor under her fingertips, stained a never-fading crimson, she couldn't help but wonder if things would be a little different if she had been able to accomplish her original goal.

If that letter from Keio had come the day before or the day after.

If her grandfather hadn't been home.

If Ami hadn't arrived to staunch the blood flow.

Her life would be over and it would all be _soooo_ much easier...

Rei was startled out of her contemplation of the stain by her cell phone belting out an ominous rendition of the first movement of Beethoven's fifth.

She sighed and resigned herself to the pain that would come from answering that call--there was only one person she had assigned that ring to--and reasoned that she would have to keep hearing that same familiar chord again and again until she picked up. It had been happening for three days straight now, at precisely the same time.

It had been the beginning of the calls that set her contemplating the stain again for the first time in months and reliving the memories that she had regained just moments before she'd taken the jagged edge of a mirror to her wrists in a rash decision to escape.

She'd have done anything to escape this particularly painful memory from resurfacing, she mused, if only it had worked...

She sighed again and picked up the phone after the first wave of orchestral torture ended. It was mere seconds before it began again and she answered on the second ring.

"What?" She sighed, for the third time in as many minutes, glad that the noise in the back round on the other end of the line meant that the caller was not camped out on her back porch as in a previous call.

"You haven't been answering your phone. I was starting to get worried."

"Why would _you _be worried about me? You don't exactly have a record for keeping my personal safety close at heart." She hated how bitter this was making her. How is seeped into every word she spoke, how the sneer on her face would be obvious in her voice, but reasoned that it wasn't her fault.

There was a frustrated growl before the person on the other end of the line spoke again.

"Rei, how many times do I have to apologies before you stop bringing that up every time we talk?" It was, however, Jadeite's fault and she was going to make sure he knew it every second of his continued existence.

"As many times as it takes to go back in time and stop yourself from being an asshole."

There was an angry growl this time and Rei could have sworn she heard the phone cracking in his fist as he struggled to rein in his temper.

"Look...We...We really need to talk, Rei, I mean, actually sit down and talk, without you waving balls of fire in my face and singeing my hair." Rei smiled ruefully, he always had been rather vain...

"...What do you think that would accomplish? Theres nothing you can say or do that will make me forgive you. Ever. So if that's what you're after-"

"It's not." He said shortly, and Rei was absolutely positive that he mangling the receiver in his hands by the level of static that suddenly distorted the line. "I just think that for the sake of the Family, we should set up some boundary lines."

"Boundary lines..." Rei repeated, raising an eyebrow, suspiciously.

"Yes. It would't do for you to try and kill me every time the senshi and shittenou were required to work together. I think we should establish some kind of system."

"...I would never try to kill you..." She remarked absently, tracing the outline of the stain with her index finger and marveling how it so resembled the flame that had supposedly spawned it.

"..." The heady silence at the other end of the line brought her out of her contemplation and she wondered vaguely if the phone had finally buckled under the pressure of Jadeite's above human strength. She was convinced of this that she jumped slightly at the sound of someone exhaling heavily through their nose. "Can I come over? Or would you like to meet at somewhere neutral?"

"Theres nowhere that's really neutral. I've lived here all my life...This one anyway." the jibes were becoming unconscious now and she wondered briefly if that was some kind of reflection on her personality. She shrugged, deciding that she didn't care either way. "Here is fine, just don't expect me to treat you like a guest or anything. There will be no tea involved."

He chuckled and Rei had to suppress an involuntary chill down her spine at the all-too-familiar sound.

"I wouldn't expect anything less..."

* * *

A half-hour later showed Jadeite obsessively flattening his hair in the passenger side mirror of Nephrite's hybrid SUV. 

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" The brunette asked, glancing warily up the steps that led to the Hikawa Jinja

"Not really." his comrade answered, still fussing with his hair, a dismayed hiss passing through his teeth as one side remained higher than the other. The humidity in the region was just agonizing on days like this...

"Then why in Elysion's name are you doing it?! Jeddo, she's going to murder you!" The blond king let a humorless smirk drift across his features before leaning back on his seat for a moment, his eyes sliding shut in some form of mediation meant to defer the feeling of complete accordance to Nephrite's paranoia.

"...She's already made her position on that issue quite clear, actually..." Ignoring the raised eyebrow he knew this statement would garner, he opened his eyes and exited the car.

"...Seriously...This really doesn't seems smart..." Nephrite added, leaning out the window as his comrade headed toward the stairs.

Jadeite ignored the warning, as well as the growling of the SUV as it sped out of the neighborhood in blatant defiance of the local speed limits. He knew the temper of the Kasei-hime far too well to still be hundred-mile radius when she finally lost her temper.

Jadeite was probably more aware of it than he, yet he continued to climb. As he neared the top of the stairs, he was even more aware of it, as he shuddered at the negative aura radiating around the space. There was an eerie reminiscence to the feeling that had surrounded Elysion just before things went to hell directly in a handbasket and he suppressed another chill at the memory.

It wasn't hard to located the nucleus of the feeling and with it, the sole occupant of the Shrine, whom he had come to see. He crossed the courtyard and knocked swiftly on the door, hoping that somehow, once in the safety of the shrine the oppressive feeling would diminish somewhat due to the buildings numerous blessings and purifications. Before he had time to worry about the impropriety of going directly to Rei's bedroom without preamble, the door slid open to reveal the miko herself, wearing a set of baggy grey sweats with her hair pulled into a messy knot at the nape of her neck.

Jadeite couldn't help but feel slightly overdressed in his pressed slacks and shirt, and from the tilt of the kohl-colored eyebrow before him, he wasn't alone in the opinion.

Rei sighed and stepped aside, gesturing towards the kotatsu in the center of the room, while she closed the door behind him.

"So, " She began once she had seated herself in a graceful sprawl across the table from him, pulling her homework back towards her and frowning at in vague concentration. "What terms did you want to set up? You want to argue custody? Should't we have an impartial third party present for this sort of thing?"

He leaned back on his palms and sighed, wondering how he could have possibly expected things to go at all smoothly when dealing with the girl across from him.

"That's not exactly what I had in mind. I just think that we should inform all parties involved that, y'know, you essentially hate my very existence and would prefer it if they didn't do anything that would force us to be in close proximity to one another." Rei snorted elegantly and he slid his gaze from the ceiling and back to the brunette, eying her suspiciously.

"I wouldn't say I hate your existence...More like...I'm...bitter, I suppose? If that makes sense? Yes, I think it does. And I think it's justified." she stated, leaning on her fist and eying the figures on the page in front of her. "I would rather not be within the same galaxy as you, as I'm afraid of losing my control, but I think that if I concentrate on it, I can keep everything pretty much checked. And, like I said earlier, guarding the Family the going to force us to be in the general vicinity of each other often for the entirely of our semi-immortal lives. It's better that I get ah old of myself now, rather than when Chibi-Usa comes and we're all stressed out."

He raised his eyebrows so that they were nearly going into his hairline when he done expressing his shock. He hadn't expected this level of communication from the senshi of passion and told her so, making sure to keep the skepticism out of his voice as much as possible. As he remembered, she got very irritated when her intentions or motivations were called into question.

If she noticed at all, she didn't comment and instead actually laughed lightly at the strain in his voice.

"In preparation for this little rendezvous, I indulged a little. I didn't think I would be able to keep my control without a little liquid courage. And I was probably right." He noticed for the first time that she was crossing her eyes slightly as she looked at the page, as if the number refused to stay still.

"...You're drunk?" She snorted again, this time in indignation.

"No, I'm not drunk! You think a few shots could actually impair my judgment that much? No, there was no reason to sit through this with a completely sober head. I'm not sure that I would have been able to keep from jumping you if I had." She looked up suddenly and seemed to be focusing on the wall behind him, her eyes crossing a little yet, "Whether it would have been to strangle you or to fuck you, I'm not altogether sure. Like I said, I wouldn't have trusted myself without it." He stared at her for several long minutes, mouth hanging slightly open in utter mystification and wondered how he was supposed to speak over his throat closing up the thoughts and the memories that she had sent rushing through his head and how in the world he was expected to live without a woman who could induce such a reaction in him with one word.

"...I think I may need a drink..." She laughed and unfolded herself from her spot on the floor flinging the blanket of the kotatsu askew, revealing the painfully red stain on the wood. "Rei...is that blood...?"

"Hm?" She turned on her way out of the room to follow his gaze and shrugged non-commitedly. "Oh, that? Yeah, I tried to kill myself, it's nothing big." He sat shell-shocked for what must have been the fifth time in the twenty minutes he'd been there, before he leaped up to follow her into the kitchen.

"You tried to kill yourself." He repeated listlessly, shocked by the very idea that one who had always fought so fiercely for her life would try to take it herself.

"Yeah, slit my wrists. Hurt like hell, actually. Everyone always said that there wasn't supposed to be alot of pain but..." She shrugged and tried to reach something in a cabinet above the refrigerator by standing on her toes.

Jadeite, still clearly bewildered and chilled by the idea, cross the room and grabbed her wrists, ignoring the yelp of pain and protest as he turned them over to examine the underside.

"What are you doing?! _Hanase_! Jeddo!" He released her in pure shock from the nickname surfacing and stared at her as she rubbed the feeling back into her wrists, muttering curses at him under her breath.

"What did you just call me?"

"I was just trying to get you to let go of me. What was that all about anyway?"

"You just told me you slit your wrists." He said, in a tone that clearly stated that the answer should have been obvious. "I was trying to see..."

"I did it four months ago. Everythings healed. And would I really have been sitting here talking to you if my wrists were gushing blood. You would have noticed before now I should think."

"But...Your floor..."

She snorted and reached up to the cabinet again, retrieving the bottle of vodka she'd been searching for.

"Martian blood...Doesn't fade. It's always crimson. Always bright crimson. Like it's been freshly spread." Her lips pressed into a thin line as she settled back on her heels and turned to look him directly in the eye. Violet challenging mildly surprised grey.

"...Why would you try to kill yourself in the first place? I thought you were okay with everything."

The violet turned almost black for a moment.

"...It was a bad day. I remembered certain things that would have been better off forgotten. I wasn't prepared for them to hurt as much as they did and the inevitable result was that I couldn't deal with it." She shook her head sharply a few times as if attempting to dislodge the memories from her head. "It doesn't matter anymore anyway. I've learned to deal since I can't do anything else about it. Let's just drink and hurl a few insults at Odango-atama."

He grabbed her wrist again as she attempted to brush past him and she snarled in response, her lips pulled back to reveal her teeth ferally as she glared traveled the foot and a half up to his eyes.

"Rei..."

"Let.Me.Go."

"What was it about the memories that you couldn't deal with? You're usually stronger than that" Jadeite watched as a flash of pain cross her face before it was quickly replaced with the livid anger that he was so used to. It was that brief first flash that gave him his answer even if Rei was unwilling to vocalize it.

"Hanase, Jeddo..."

"You can't avoid talking about this forever. If it's still hurting you-"

"Of course it's still hurting me! how could it not?!" She interrupted, twisting her wrist in circles to attempt to dislodge his from around it.

"-then it's probably hurting me just as much if not more since I'm the one at fault. " He continued on, as if she hadn't spoken at all. "If we don't talk about this then we'll never be able to get over it. "

" 'Get over it'?" She repeated scornfully, her lip curling in disgust now. "You want to talk to me to appease your guilt? Typical. " she spat and tried to wrest her wrists away again, struggling in the vice-like grip he held her in. "Go talk to your traitor brethren and your king. You can get all the forgiveness you need from them, don't come looking for it here."

Jadeite grimaced at the dig and tightened his grip again, ignoring the repeated yelp of pain.

"I_ need_ to talk to _you, _Rei. Even if it's about something totally mundane like the weather or something. I just need to talk to you. I can't stand to be here. Here in the same, I don't know, _existence, _knowing that I can't talk to you anytime I want."

She was silent for a moment before she started chanting a familiar rhythm and he let go of her in a hurry, jumping back a few steps in the process.

"You want to talk about it?" She asked lowly, kohl fringe shielding her eyes from outside scrutiny as she carefully reined in her emotions.

Jadeite watched her steadily, warily trying to gauge her mental state and knowing that he needed to phrase his next words carefully lest he set off another volcanic eruption.

"...If you think you can..."

She looked up at him and smiled humorlessly. A touch of the malicious seeping in at the corners, as she spread her arms open wide and blew a stay strand of kohl from her face.

"I'm an open book, Jeddo, you've always known how to read me. I doubt you've forgotten in the time we've been apart." She let him take the cryptic statement the way he wanted too before shaking the bottle in his face and returning to her room.

Jadeite sighed and rubbed his hands over his face in frustration, feeling the guilt pile on his shoulders twice as heavily as it had been five minutes ago.

That would make three times now that he'd been directly responsible for deadly or near-deadly physical harm coming to Rei.

At least this time it wasn't actually at his own hands, he though morbidly.

He wondered what kind of cruel harpy fate really was that it refused to allow he and Rei to just make it work for once before he was killing her again.

More immediately he wondered what harm the fact the he was here, in her house, was doing to her psyche.

It was that thought in his mind that he shuffled back to Rei's room to inform her of his departure but stopped in his tracks when he reached the doorway. A painful flood of memories coursing through his veins as he watching her shake her hair loose from it's complicated knot.

Memories of how it felt to run his fingers through it when she was asleep or too sated to complain.

Of how it smelled just after she's taken a bath and didn't have to hurry back to court before the Princess missed her.

Of how it fanned down around them like a curtain when they made love.

Of how it had matted with thick arterial blood as the last vestiges of her life flowed out on the moon's surface.

He opened his mouth to tell her of his plans-which really were better for them at this point-but could only manage a strained chocking sound that had Rei looking up at him curiously.

"...Oh...Sorry. I thought you were still in the kitchen." She said, tactfully pulling her hair back into place, seeming to notice (or remember) his reaction."I forgot how weird you always were about it." She tapped a finger on her chin. "I would have thought you would have said something about it before. You know, when you tried to kill the second time?"

He winced and moved to resume his place across the kotatsu from her, dragging the bottle across the table on the way.

"Does this come naturally to you or do you have to sit and think awhile to come up with comments to make me fell like shit?"

"Hmm...Probably a little of both actually..."

"I thought so." He wrenched the top off the bottle and took a long drag, stalling for time as she eyed him expectantly.

"So? You wanted to talk? I'm feeling strangely benevolent today. You'd better make it fast, I'm not sure how long it will last."

He didn't need the prompting but it gave him the time necessary to get what he wanted to say into a semi-logical order, for which he was grateful and made full use of.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So...Even from friends who've read this chapter aren't too cool with the whole suicide thing. That Rei is a much stronger character that to want to throw everything away like that. Let me just state that I felt this was a step that would be taken by the way I interpret Rei and how the relationship she had with Jadeite affected her. And going along with her sort or surreal feelings about her life in general which I'll expound upon in later chapters, it wasn't something that she was really serious about. It was more like a macabre experiment, done mostly to see if it would work or if she was just be resurrected immediately afterwards like she's been the last seven or so times she's died. 

About the 'Jeddo' thing, I dunno...It seemed natural for the Shittenou to have nicknames or shortened versions of their names considering how long they've known each other. And for Rei to use it as well considering how close the Senshi and the Shittenou were

And this may have been the longest chapter I have ever written checks Yes, yes it is. And I know I ended it at a weird place but that's because I wrote all of this out on paper first and it's like 25 pages or something that was supposed to be one chapter so I've decided to split it up. That just seemed the easiest place to do it, rather than wait until Jeddo had launched into his explanation.

**_Translation Notes:_**

_Hanase: '_Let go' or something to that effect

_Satsu_: 'Kill' or 'Murder' or something like that.

The next chapter should come fairly soon if not tonight. Because of certain people who decide that four in the morning is an appropriate time to break up with someone after nearly three years I can't sleep so...I'll probably be up writing all night...or typing as it were.


	7. Doushite

**_Shijun no Zankoku_****_: Chapter 6:_**_ Doushite_

Does this come naturally to you or do you have to sit and think awhile to come up with comments to make me feel like shit?" 

"Hmm...Probably a little of both actually..." 

"I thought so." He wrenched the top off the bottle and took a long drag, stalling for time as she eyed him expectantly. 

"So? You wanted to talk? I'm feeling strangely benevolent today. You'd better make it fast; I'm not sure how long it will last." 

He didn't need the prompting but it gave him the time necessary to get what he wanted to say into a semi-logical order, for which he was grateful and made full use of. 

"...For the most part, it wasn't really about the fact that we couldn't easily kick our girlfriends asses or something. It was the fact that somehow, through some odd twist of fate, Earth was the odd planet out and needed 5 people to protect its crystal whereas all the other planets only required one. So yeah, power played a part, but not in the way you thought. But it was the fact that we lacked the power of one single senshi and therefore would forever be vulnerable to attack. If any one of the planets decided not to honor Serenity's treaty then we would have been done for. Let alone if she had changed her mind. Endymion has power, but there's no way we would have allowed him to use it. It probably would have killed him. We're supposed to protect him and protect the crystal but there's no way we would have been able to in the state our powers were in at the time. We had to supplement our power somehow and Beryl gave use a way to do it. She'd already succumbed to Meteria when she came to us with this proposition: That we'd be able to ensure that Endymion-sama would never be forced into a situation where he would have to use the kinzuisho. We should have been more cautious, granted, but it was something we'd been struggling to overcome for centuries and here was this perfect opportunity to accomplish our lifelong goal. There was no way we couldn't accept it." 

Rei digested this new information for a few minutes, taking an occasional swig from the bottle. 

"...It didn't occur to you all that mysterious and unknown beings from the core of the sun would probably not be the best to accept power from?" The matter-of-fact tone had him chuckling ruefully as he accepted the bottle she offered. 

"We thought we were only dealing with Beryl at the time. She was a priestess, you know? At Elysion's temple. We thought she'd gained some sort of new power somehow. 'Tapped into the very fabric of existence' is how she put it. After we accepted that power it was completely different. Our insecurities about our roles as Endymion's guardians made us just as susceptible to Beryl's power as the rest of Earth's inhabitants. She had the ability to control the emotions of those around her and could intensify, destroy or pervert any one of them that she chose to." 

"So you're saying that it's Beryl's fault you ran me through on the night we were supposed to elope?" There was that matter-of-fact tone again. The one that made him wonder why he was even bothering to explain anything at all. She was set in her own conclusions no matter what he said. 

"No, I'm not." But that didn't mean he would give in so easily "I'm saying that part of what any of us did was in no way helped by the fact that we were-as previously stated-brainwashed and under a form of mind control. I'm not making excuses; I'm laying facts out into the open for you. Whether or not you chose to accept them is completely up to you." 

"...Uh-huh...So have you solved this little compensation problem in this life yet? So the next time chaos splits a piece of itself off to come and terrorize us, you won't be so ready to run back to her side?" 

"...We're working on it..." Jadeite replied, struggling under the intense gaze that Rei threw at him. "This time, however, we thought it would be prudent to seek outside help for the problem rather than trying to solve it internally. Hence, telling the senshi and essentially admitting our weakness to those we were most worried about." He raised the bottle in salute, facetiously "May it do you more good than it's done for us." 

She raised an eyebrow at he finished the rest of the vodka (about a quarter of the bottle) in one long drag. 

"You think we would use something like that against you? You have a serious misconception of our battle tactics." 

"And why wouldn't you? It's the perfect weakness. We've essentially handed you guys our heads on silver platters. Our power is nothing compared to yours, be grateful for it. Though, that should have been obvious by how easy it was to destroy us the second time even with Metaria's power." 

"...You have a serious misconception about us a whole, apparently...Even if we had known about that, if we had known or been conscious of the fact that you guys were less powerful, we wouldn't have done anything about it. Especially given our relationships with you. I can't exactly speak for the rest of the girls, but as the fukutaicho of the senshi I know Minako's tactics and I know that she wouldn't have used that against you unless her hand was forced by Serenity. Which, given the treaty, it wouldn't have been." 

Jadeite sighed after a few moments of silent contemplation about Rei's words. Just like no amount of convincing would be enough to get her to forgive him for what he'd done, no amount of convincing on her part would get him to believe that the fears he and his fellow Shittenou held were completely unfounded. 

Nephrite, Kunzite and Zoicite were in total agreement with him, despite the rekindling of the relationships that they had with their respective senshi. 

They weren't letting their guards down completely, not trusting them totally, not yet, and probably wouldn't ever. And Jadeite prayed to Elysion that the senshi did the same. 

But just in case... 

"Rei...I hope you aren't thinking of letting this little piece of information slide...If it comes to it, you have to know that it's something that's it's a very real weakness for us and it something that should be taken advantage of it need be." 

She smiled slowly, the tilt of her lips revealing her opinion on the matter. It was a purely Arean smile, one that all generals of the Martian empire wore upon going into battle. The smile that showed that the wearer knew for absolutely certain that they were going to come out of the battle victorious. That even if they died in the process, they were going to have won because they gave their entire soul for the battle. 

"You've just told the Lieutenant-General of history's most powerful army your main weakness. We may respect the fact that our leaders are married and thus, in an alliance, but the moment that situation changes, regardless of the personal feelings that some of us may have, rest assured, we will decimate you." 

Which to Jadeite, essentially sounded like Rei was chomping at the bit to kill the lot of them. 

Unsure he liked exactly where this conversation was going and liking the menacing gleam in Rei's eyes even less, Jadeite pulled himself to his feet with no small amount of effort. His high metabolism, which had been the only thing allowing him to speak in relatively coherent terms, was failing with the amount of alcohol he'd consumed in the hour and a half or so that he'd been at Rei's. He swayed dangerously as he finally managed to get vertical and almost came crashing down onto the kotatsu. 

When the mis-stepped earned nothing more than a snicker from his ex, he was sure that either Rei had a much higher metabolism than him (another inequality between Senshi and Shittenou) or that she just had a much higher tolerance for the stuff. 

Given the portion of her supply that he'd glimpsed when he followed her into the kitchen, he wasn't entirely sure which one was more accurate, but both unsettled him to his core. 

1010101010101010101010101 

"Yeah, I got fed the same line. Do you believe it?" 

"Why should I? Do you?" 

"...Maybe..." Rei glared across the counter at Makoto, the current expert in dodging point-blank questions. 

"Not maybe. There's either yes or no. You four seem completely snowballed by this tragic martyr act and I want to know if I'm alone in being skeptical about it. I need to know Mako-chan, whether I'm just being stubborn and their argument is totally logical." 

"For what it's worth, I think its BS. You aren't being stubborn." spoke a voice behind Rei. The other senshi looked up to watch a fourth of their member walk through the door to Makoto's restaurant. Not noticing or ignoring the 'closed' sign. 

"I don't know that it's stubborn so much as it's cynical. The argument has some merit but I don't think you should take it at full face value." Michiru countered, sliding into the stool next to Rei, sending a weary glare at Haruka who remained standing, hovering vaguely in the direction of the racing games in the corner. "It's true that the powers of the senshi far outweighed those of the Shittenou 10,000 years ago. Just as the powers of certain members of the senshi outweighed the powers of others. At the moment, though, I think the gap between powers has gotten considerably smaller. The fact that Hotaru-chan, Setsuna and Minako-chan's powers are considerably more devastating than the other four of us is another fact. Hotaru has the power to destroy the universe. Setsuna controls time. Minako-chan can, or eventually will have the power to control the human spirit. This is why Hotaru's powers have been largely sealed, why Setsuna has so many restrictions on her power and why Minako-chan is our general. The rest of us may feel...let's say...burned by the fact that our powers don't have as much potential to impact the storyline as they do, but that doesn't mean we're going to sacrifice our souls to even the odds. No matter how much we may be tempted to. I think there's merit to the claim that they were taken advantage of by praying on a weakness, though I think that the true difference is that they ultimately did accept. How many times have we been offered the same things?" 

"...So what exactly are you saying, Michiru-san?" Makoto asked, her narrowed eyed answered with a smirk from the older woman. 

"Nothing really. Just that I think that trust should be dealt out relatively. There's no way to know how much of the decision was their own and how controlled they were. I do know for a fact that Beryl had the ability to control emotion similar to Minako-chan. That goes without saying. Your suspicion has to be tempered by the facts of the matter though, Rei-chan." 

Rei sighed and dropped her chin into her hand, leaning her elbow onto the table. 

"...You seriously came all this way to give me a lecture about something I could have and would have just as well figured out myself? A wasted effort if you ask me..." 

"Not really. We're simply emissaries for a higher-" 

"-And blonder-" Haruka interrupted 

"-power." Michiru finished. "Usagi-sama thought it might be worthwhile to you to hear the opinion of someone on the other side of the betrayal fence who had already regained your trust." 

"You can't begin to compare what you two did to what they did. You two were still loyal to Serenity even if you used the other side to achieve that means. They flat-out betrayed all of us." 

"Look, Rei-chin," Haruka sighed, dropping a hand on Rei's shoulder and patting it absently, "All we're saying is that you shouldn't be so quick to jump to your own conclusions." Rei growled in response and pushed Haruka away, standing up swiftly in the process. 

"Why does everyone keep telling me that? I know! I'm rash and I have a habit of not thinking my opinions through. This is something that I've had 10,000 years to think through and that opinion won't change no matter what anyone says or does to convince me otherwise. Just stop trying to talk me through it already. You're wasting your breath!" She exclaimed before bending to snatch up her purse and flaring out of the dining room, slamming the door behind her with finality. 

"...Eh...Well I guess it's a good thing I didn't tell her that Minako picked a date, huh?" Makoto said after a nervous and thready laugh, fearing somewhere in the back of her mind that Rei might hear her say it. 

"She'll calm down in a few days. She usually does." Haruka commented, waving a dismissive hang as she claimed Rei's vacated seat. 

"I don't know..."Michiru began, slowly, "I don't know that I've ever seen her in quite that much of temper. I hope she doesn't go to do something stupid while under its influence." 

"Rei may have a temper but she's not stupid or prone to acting like it." Makoto stressed. "The most she'll probably do is kill Jadeite or something. Again." 

"Killing Jadeite doesn't constitute as something stupid?" Haruka asked, eyes widening at Makoto's flippancy. 

"Not really. He's a traitor after all." The true outer senshi exchanged a raised eyebrow before turning back to the chef as the counted money from her cash register. 

"Erm...Makoto-chan...Isn't that something of a double-standard? Nephrite is guilty of the same things..." 

"I wasn't talking about being a traitor to the crown. Of course he was that as well. The issue is much more personal for Rei. She's not mad about that and probably accepts his rationale completely. She's resisting because of the personal slight to her, which is hundreds of times worse." 

"...Betraying her is worse that betraying the crown?" Haruka asked with awe, considering that she knew exactly how devoted Rei was to being a martyr for her queen. "Remind never to piss off Rei-chin again..." 

"You can probably start by not calling her Rei-chin..."Michiru contemplated. 

"...So noted..." 

* * *

Author's Note: Yeah, t'was a long time coming. My brain is so frazzled at the moment...I may have mentioned it but I'm a creative writing major, which means that I have to write stories for class constantly. It ends with me never wanted to put pen to paper ever again when I get through. Luckily, we have a break of sorts coming up for Easter and the weather's been nice (in Michigan. Shock!), so I'm in a good mood and figured I'd fire off new chapters of all my stories. Assuage my guilt somewhat. So...there you have it. I don't think there are any translation notes for this chapter except for the title which is 'Why' or 'How'


End file.
